Every supervisor, manager, and leader knows how uncomfortable it is to give feedback.

Receiving feedback is several times worse for many of us. We like to believe we’re doing everything right, or if we aren’t, that no one has noticed.

My title above is extreme (to get your attention, of course). Few of us believe we’re fabulous. But we usually think we’re O.K.

I keep working to become less thin-skinned. Some folks admit they have "no skin." Almost all of us hate rejection, however we may define it.

As a result, we may be kept in the dark by someone who has valuable feedback for us, but dreads our defensive reaction.

I don’t want to be the last to know how someone views my work, I want to be the first to know!

So I’ve finally learned to ASK for feedback, and then RECEIVE it with appreciation and without arguing, justifying, or defending.

After conducting a seminar, I asked my customer, "What would you like more of next time? What would you like less of next time?"

This made it easier for him to give me feedback. Here’s why:

1.  I asked for it.

2.  I gave him two specific (also quick & easy) questions to answer.

3.  I wrote down his answers immediately, with no argument, saying only "Thank you."

When you think about it, the answers to those two questions cover what we really need to know from our bosses and customers: what do you want more of and less of from me?

Honest feedback - as valuable as gold. 

As hard to find. 

When you get it, treasure it.