"What do you want to be?"  That’s what I ask people who are looking for a job, seemingly don’t have a goal, and need something to work toward," says Sheree Sorrells, an employment counselor at a North Carolina JobLink Center.

"It may be the first time anyone has asked the person that question in many years. Often, I notice his or her first reaction is to sit up straighter."

. . . sit up straighter . . . what does this tell us about what that person may be thinking or feeling?

Sitting up straighter could be the first in a series of behaviors leading to preparing oneself for a job. As we’ve all heard many times: "A long journey begins with a single step."

When I hear the question "What do you want to be?" it thrusts me into my imagination, and my dream. "I want to be a nurse, a firefighter, a chef, a business owner." Imagining myself in one of these roles pulls me up in my seat. It pulls me out of my present an into a different future. It pulls me to do the work to make that future come true.

Usually, people are asked what they want to do. Try asking someone you care about what they want to be. You may just be giving that person a handle to pull himself toward his dream.

Half-a-dozen times a day that week, exciting ideas popped into my head. By the next meeting, I’d filled two pages.

5. During our meeting, Mike listened while I read my ideas, never editing or commenting, just smiling and nodding.
6. When I finished, Mike asked, “What’s next?”

I began rattling off a timetable and list of steps I wanted to take.

7. Mike agreed to all, and suggested another meeting, where he promised to give feedback on the progress I’d made.
8. After giving valuable feedback which helped me improve some of my ideas, Mike asked, “How can I help you?”

At this moment, it hit me: this project has now become mine, not his. And that’s exactly how I wanted it.

How did Mike make this magical transformation occur?

We might say that Mike knew when to offer a challenge, back off, stand in the wings, and feel proud . . . expertly!