The manager of a retail store told employees that their responsibility was to make transactions easy and quick for customers. However, if an item had no price or bar code, the cashier was required to call a manager. 

What’s wrong with this picture?  

"What do you want to be?"  That’s what I ask people who are looking for a job, seemingly don’t have a goal, and need something to work toward," says Sheree Sorrells, an employment counselor at a North Carolina JobLink Center.

"It may be the first time anyone has asked the person that question in many years. Often, I notice his or her first reaction is to sit up straighter."

. . . sit up straighter . . . what does this tell us about what that person may be thinking or feeling?

Sitting up straighter could be the first in a series of behaviors leading to preparing oneself for a job. As we’ve all heard many times: "A long journey begins with a single step."

When I hear the question "What do you want to be?" it thrusts me into my imagination, and my dream. "I want to be a nurse, a firefighter, a chef, a business owner." Imagining myself in one of these roles pulls me up in my seat. It pulls me out of my present an into a different future. It pulls me to do the work to make that future come true.

Usually, people are asked what they want to do. Try asking someone you care about what they want to be. You may just be giving that person a handle to pull himself toward his dream.

"Everybody’s behavior makes sense to them at the time," says Dr. Aubrey Daniels, founder of the consulting company bearing his name.

We can remove the mystery and superstition for why people do the "crazy" things they do (translation: things we don’t agree with).

It’s not voodoo. It’s the consequences.

"I just don’t understand why he won’t pick up his clothes. I end up picking them up every day."

The answer to the question is right there. You just read it.

When we don’t approve of someone else’s actions, and wish we knew how to change those actions, all we have to do is ask, "What happens for that person when he or she does that action?" If she keeps doing the same action, we know that a positive reinforcer (from some source) is fueling her behavior, keeping it running and running, no matter how much we detest that behavior.

When Mike’s daughter was nine, he gave her a laundry basket for her closet. "Put your dirty clothes in here, Shawn. The day before you want clean clothes, take your basket down to the laundry room." Downstairs they went for a lesson. Using her fingers, not his, he taught her, "Here’s how to run the washer." And later, "Now you get to put them in the dryer. Your fingers – - turn on the dryer." Many years later, Shawn’s the best laundry-doer you ever saw!

In our family, "Your fingers" became our frequent instruction, and reminder not to do things for others that they can do themselves. Sometimes the person on the receiving end of instruction (on the computer, for instance), would say, "My fingers!" to remind the other person to get out of the way and "let me do it."

In Leadership Training sessions, my watchword is "Never do for participants anything they can do for themselves." They love it because they get to:

1. Move around
2. Talk
3. Figure things out
4. Feel successful

As long as we’re doing the work for others around us, why SHOULD they ever do it for themselves?

Can’t offer more money?

Can’t guarantee job security?

Can’t give promotions now?

What can a boss do during a tough economy to show how she values people?

1.  Ask their opinions. Close mouth and listen. Take notes. You don’t have to use all the ideas. Just save them. This demonstrates to that person that you take his ideas seriously. And who knows? There may be a gem in there somewhere – later if not sooner.

2.  Keep your own complaints about the current situation to yourself. Vent to a trusted friend outside your organization or to a spouse or companion when you need to let off steam – not to your staff.

3.  Listen to your staff’s frustrations but minimize the time you both spend talking about conditions neither of you can control.  Once the problem has been stated, re-direct the conversation to the solution stage with a question like "What do you suggest?" or make a statement that gets the conversation onto today’s priorities. Whatever you listen to, you’ll get more of!

4.  Give frequent informal recognition for work that you value. "Good solution," "You saved our bacon!" and "Great preparation for that meeting" are quick and cheap ways to motivate.

Life at work won’t always be this tough (it might get tougher!), so let’s make it as positive as humanly possible.